Sent to the Drudge Report

The current flu panic is needed to distract us from the governments rapid efforts to socialize the economy, steal our money, and from the current displays of utter incompetence and disorganization.

It would be best for your team to consult with actual virologists and epidemiologists, obtain a sense of proportion, and cease your cooperation with this manipulation of public attention away from the more pressing issues at hand. Remember that in preparation for the Roe V Wade decision, NO EMBRYOLOGISTS were consulted. Stupid things are done by ignorant people.

Please dedicate more of your red headlines to topics which the public needs to address in order to preserve human life in the long run. You can still make money at the same time as you redirect the attention of your readers, who are eager for relief from the same old stuff.

If you would like to avoid respiratory viral illnesses, do not touch your face or eyes without washing your hands first. This practice prevents more illness than all of your red headlines ever will.